The Taste of Exhaustion - Day 12

Writing this blog everyday is a good part of this training because it's another component of my discipline: chronicling this journey.

So today was a mentor run & basically we just ran 2 miles and we were done. And tomorrow is a rest day! It's getting to the point where I'm a little bummed that we have a day of rest, but I know that come 10 miles my body will thank me for doing that.

Although, I achieved my goal of running the entire way, that still needs to stay a goal. My asthma has been kicking in & I am really trying to train my lungs. But this lack of oxygen is not allowing me to be an efficient runner. I am fatiguing because my body is not receiving enough oxygen to get me through. So my goal throughout is to run all the way...no matter what.

It's not my body that hurts after the run, but my lungs feel tight, my throat is very dry and burns, and I have serious cotton mouth because my lungs refuse the breath of air I send them. So this constant fighting of lungs versus breathing is the only major pain that has come along with this running.

The one thing I am trying not to be intimidated by are the hills in San Francisco. There are some hills on our Woodward Park route & sometimes they kick my ass. So I don't want the thought of hills during 26.2 miles to frighten me off. I try my best to retain a constant speed as I run up the hill, which can feel a little like torture, but I know there will be hills...So I hope to kick their ass when it really counts on Oct. 19th.

One thing that helped was the mini conversations I am beginning to have with myself, I almost stopped to walk, but something inside told me I could hold on, that I need to push through, because it's not the first 24 it's the last 2.2 miles...

But I ran the 2 miles straight through and I was even able to quasi-sprint the last 100 yds! The feeling as I crossed the point at which I started was as refreshing as cold water in 100 degree weather.

One thing that I am slowly changing is my mindset. I need to remember that my body is different it is not the same as it was when I played basketball, field hockey, and track and field. So now I have to learn how to love the shape of my body and realize I can sculpt it. But even then there is an underlying foundation that will determine how much I can sculpt and how much I can shape. So I have to learn to love what I've got to work with.

But every day that I run I gain a new appreciation and respect for what it has done for me. And so part of this marathon is giving back to my body and making it strong and healthy again. Remembering that my body has transformed to what my life has required of it and as I age so will my body. But if I take care of it then it will become my support system and carry me through other life changes.

My next goal is to run at a little quicker pace as well as run every mile even if I have to go at a snail's pace.

So today's exhaustion tastes like struggling. Struggling against gravity, against my perception of who I was with what I am today, struggling to learn to love the person I have become, and struggling to understand that every day is a chance to change.

I need to learn, even though my life has been a combination of pleasure and pain I need to give back to this world that has given me so much. Even as it took away other things. Running is teaching me to respect cycles and the changes that come because of that cycle.

Since you can't be there to cheer us on at our practices please go to our pages and cheer us on by donating to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We're running not just toward a finish line, but with your donations we're racing toward a cure!

Roxanne Villaluz's Team in Training Website

http://pages.teamintraining.org/cca/nikesf08/rvillaluz

Casimiro Llamas, Jr.'s Team in Training Website

http://pages.teamintraining.org/cca/nikesf08/cllamas

Thank you for reading my faithful readers!